A Heartbreaking Day

Today, Alex had school - he was so excited about going, that we actually got ready and left the house a full 30 minutes sooner than we needed to. Alex was chipper, and talking about his buddies at school, and what they were going to "be" at school (options are: Scooby Do, Spiderman, Batman, Luke Skywalker, Bo and Luke Duke, etc...).

I drooped Alex off at school, and brought Tessa-Lynn back to the house for a nap. Shortly after placing an almost asleep girl in her crib, I got a call from Alex's school. Alex was crying saying his tummy hurt. I grabbed Tessa and put her back in the car and rushed back to school.

As I walked down the hall to his classroom, I spotted Alex and his teacher sitting outside the door to his class. When he saw me, Alex just broke into more tears. He wants to play and be "normal" but his body is just getting beat up right now by all the poison running through his veins.

We headed for home, with Alex saying he wanted his Zofan, and then he wanted to go back to school. I didn't even get the kids out of the car seat, I just ran in the house for the Zofran, and gave it to him in the car. I drove Alex back to the school, and sat with him outside the classroom for about 15 minutes before he was ready to go inside. Alex is an affectionate child, but he has never clung to me the way he did today. I wasn't allowed to leave until Alex "dismissed me" at the end of class, leaving Tessa-Lynn and me to play on the playground with the bigger kids.

It breaks my heart in a million pieces when I see my brave boy cry. He is trying so hard to "be ok". He now tells me "Mom, I love you so very much" a few times a day. He works on making me feel better, even when his Chemo and Steroids make it just about impossible to function normally.