This is the stressful part for me, because it's more of a guessing game at this point. I was very comfortable when there was a dosage plan, and everything fell right in line with the protocol (you know, the one with the 80-90% cure rate...). Now, things are more fluid - and while I hate poisoning Alex every night - we know we are doing it in order to reach that cure. While I get it that we have to play with the chemo dosage to find the best fit, I'm terrified that we aren't hitting the cancer cells hard enough... The Oncology mantra in this day in age is "poison them to the brink of death - then pull them back".
I attended a talk by an Oncology doctor, who works closely with Alex's main doctors. He told me something that I hadn't really realized before...
Every day, everyone creates cancer cells, and every day, most people's bodies seek and destroy those cells. Alex's body didn't recognize these cancer cells, and they were left to multiply - doubling every 24 to 48 hours. So the really scary part is that, while I am confident that we will beat the hell out of these cancer cells, what happens if his body makes these cells again sometime in his lifetime?
I came to realize that cancer is truly an autoimmune problem. Alex's body doesn't know to fight off these cells - although it fights off other enemies all the time (bacterial and viral infections to name a few). I was encouraged to hear about all the research to teach our bodies how to recognize the cancer as a threat, and destroy it. Right now, we obliterate the immune system in the effort to kill the cancer - sacrificing the one thing that might be the answer to curing cancer.
It's hard to wrap my head around this - and I'm glad that we have so many dedicated doctors and researchers working for a cure.
Wouldn't it be amazing if Alex's generation was the very last one to use poison to combat the disease????
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"Wouldn't it be amazing if Alex's generation was the very last one to use poison to combat the disease????"
ReplyDeleteWow! What an amazing thought. Thank you for this thought-provoking blog post. I never really thought about cancer as an autoimmune disease before.
As scary as it is to realize that we all produce cancer cells (and that some people's immune systems are not adept at targeting and eliminating them), I find it incredibly comforting that we KNOW this. This is knowledge doctors didn't have 15 or 20 years ago. And knowledge is very empowering!
Even as Alex completes his final dose of chemo next March, it is good to know that the research into finding new, even more effective treatments continues. Treatments that would benefit him IF he were to need them in the future. There are doctors and scientists who've dedicated their lives to making sure cancer doesn't take any more lives...and I find that so hopeful!
Take care, my friend! I'll see you soon!
my heart is here with you friend. i love you and your family so much! susie
ReplyDeleteHi Sara,
ReplyDeleteI imagine the goal of chemotherapy is to hit the cancer cells so hard that they are reduced to a level where our immune system can finish them off. We can hardly expect chemo to get every last cancer cell by itself without also killing off every other cell in our body. Our own immune system finishes off the cancer cells, just as is it does every day with all the other defective cells our bodies produce.
I would like to think that Alex’s immune system did its job following that first round of chemo way back in November 2008 and that he has been cancer-free ever since. I would like to think that Alex’s immune system is inherently strong – that it is doing its job every day – and that all this chemo that he has endured is an extra precaution driven by experience and clinical research to reach that 80 – 90% cure rate in everyone else. When Alex’s counts are high it means that his immune system is working even harder to battle all of the bad cells, both alien and home-grown.
I am confident that Alex’s body has learned well what these wicked cancer cells “look” like and I trust that his immune system will be very efficient at recognizing these cancer cells if they ever appear again. He has, through this process, been vaccinated against this hideous cancer.
This cancer is freaky scary and battling it has been a horrible ordeal for all of you. I don’t mean to minimize the importance of following the protocol – there is no reasonable alternative – and the consequence of losing this battle is unthinkable. It is just that, if our minds can create our reality, I want to create the reality that Alex is already cured and that the protocol is simply what it is – an obnoxious tax on your lives for the privilege of raising such a remarkable boy.
-- Grandpa Jim
Jim! So very well written. And I subscribe to your philosophy. Cheers, Sandi
ReplyDeleteGrandpa Jim read aloud to me this inspiring message of light and I wept. I recalled his thoughts yesterday as I cared for a young cancer patient and shared some of Jim's rational of embracing this mystery with this family. Jim reaches beyond the clinical in how we can nurture and minister human needs with dignity. sincerely, Pam
ReplyDeleteI read Grandpa Jim's inspiring post and wept. Yesterday I recalled Jims message as I cared for a cancer patient and shared some of his insights of embracing the mystery of our immune system. Grandpa Jim reaches beyond the clinical however, in how we can minister human needs of understanding with dignity and hope. I think of little Alex often and of your family. sincerely, Pam
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