In 14 days, Alex will be bombarded with radiation. He will have to hold still for 20 minutes while invisible rays obliterate his immune system. He will have to sit in a lead lined room all by himself, while Eric and I sit outside, and watch his sweet face through a monitor. The total body irradiation (TBI) will be repeated twice a day for four consecutive days. He will be awake, and conscious through the procedures. While he will not experience any pain during the treatments, the after-effects are overwhelming.
Some of the fallout from the radiation is dramatic and quick.
His bone marrow will disappear.
His hair will fall out.
His fertility will be destroyed.
His digestive system will be in chaos.
His jaw will throb with radiation poisoning.
His appetite will vanish.
His mouth will erupt in soars.
Other consequences of his treatment may take years to appear.
His eyes will develop cataracts.
His growth will be stunted.
His lungs will be scarred.
His heart will be weaker.
His brain function will be altered.
His body may develop other cancers.
I am overwhelmed with what my amazing boy will be going through. We have been busy, trying to flood his memory with good times, so that all of us can draw upon them when in the depths of his treatment.
All of this is weighing heavy on our hearts, including Alex. The other night, he told me:
"Mom, if some kid gets cancer - not me, but another kid - and he doesn't make it - he dies, his parents can always go adopt another kid".
My heart stopped as I digested this statement, this permission to love another child if he doesn't make it. My eyes welled up with tears, and I held him close and told him that while yes, it is true, the parents could adopt another child, they would never stop loving the child they lost.
Damn it - he is only 6 years old...
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Ah! Tearing up... Stay strong, Sweet Cousin.
ReplyDeleteOh Sara I just can't stop crying. I love your son so much and I've never even met him. I just pray for him continually. Oh Lord Jesus please heal Alex. Heal him completely. --Mariah
ReplyDeleteLiterally makes me sick to my stomache. A person feels so helpless, trying to make a difference....trying to let Alex and your whole family know how much we care....and how firmly we are standing beside you, with our hands clasped with your hands during this extemely difficult time. Please plant a BIG KISS on Alex's sweet cheek from me. - Sandi
ReplyDeleteYes Damn it! He is only 6 - it just is not fair! I am amazed at your strength, and at his, every single day. He is wise beyond his years; an amazing child. My heart and every single good wish I have goes out to you all.
ReplyDeletePlease continue to love him and support him. I have seen a couple of miracles in my life, one was a neighbor girl who at 1 years old was diagnosed with terminal bone cancer. Her parents were told that the slim chance she survived she would never be able to have children because of all the radiation. I ran in to her at a park 5 years ago and she was playing with a little boy. That was her little miracle son whom she gave birth to. God bless you and Alex!!!
ReplyDeleteI have one question. I know it seems some what minor with all that is going on, but with his fertility being destroyed, couldn't they cryopreseve testicular tissue for future implant? I have heard them successfully doing this with ovarian tissue. I am praying for Alex!
ReplyDeleteTonya
Unfortunately, testicular tissue is not "developed" until puberty (unlike ovarian tissue, which is complete at birth). So, there is nothing to "preserve" at this time.
ReplyDeleteAlex is so wise and such a strong little boy! We hate that he has to go through this! We are praying for all of you, and thinking of each one of you everyday!
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