Clinic and Heartache

Alex had his monthly chemo appointment today. He was such a trooper when the nurse accessed his PORT. He is now comfortable enough with the process to ask for everything he needs. "I want the iodine instead of the stinky sponge" (used to clean his skin before accessing the PORT). "Please tape up the tubie" (to keep it from hanging down and getting in the way when he goes to the bathroom). I'm so proud of him! His blood counts were good - no transfusion necessary, and his ANC was at 1000 - right in the middle of where they want it (between 750 and 1500).

After Alex received his Vincristine, and was de-accessed, we headed down to the cafeteria to eat taco salad. Alex has decided that's what he wants every time we go to the hospital. I'm happy to oblige...

On the way home, Alex was talking about school, and how excited he was to go. The timing couldn't have been more perfect. School starts at 1pm, and we got off the freeway at 12:45, so we headed directly to school.

Alex ran down the hallway, so excited to play outside with his friends. I gave him a kiss good-bye, and watched him go outside. As I was talking to his teacher, the door opened, and my son - with eyes full of tears, came walking up to me "I need Zofran - my tummy hurts!". I just held him tight, and told him I would go home and get it. He decided to come with me, so we left the school long enough to come home, and get the medicine to calm his achy tummy. After packing Tessa-Lynn into the car (thanks mom for watching her while we went to clinic!), we headed back to school.

Alex asked me to stay for a few minutes, which made Tessa-Lynn so happy to play on the playground. Then, the tears really started. He said he wanted to just go home. But he didn't. He talked about school all weekend. He talked about school the whole time we were in the clinic. He just didn't feel good. With all the poison running through his body, it's amazing he can even get out of bed in the morning.

He cried as I sat there holding him in my lap. A few of his classmates came over to see what was wrong. To be honest, I was crying too. My boy was hurting, and there isn't anything I can do about it, except continue to give him the medicine that makes him feel so bad.

After about an hour of calming him down, I was able sneak away with Tessa-Lynn, and let him enjoy his class. When I came back, his teacher said that he got teary two other times that afternoon, but really enjoyed himself.

My heart just aches for everything Alex is going through. He has such a strong spirit, and he fights so hard against this cancer - it's exhausting for him, and for his family.