Scars and Bruises

Today, as I was getting my son ready for the day, I looked at his body, which is now down to just 37 lbs. I was struck by the number of bruises that map his body. As if the cancer diagnosis wasn't a hard enough blow, we have to see physical bruising to constantly remind us of the battle waging under his skin.

My eyes came to rest on the scar above his PORT in his chest. A life-long battle mark to remind us all that this fight is to the death. It is Alex's life against the life of cancer - this is a battle we *cannot* lose.

Eric and I have decided that the smell of hand sanitizer and adhesive remover will forever be the stench of cancer.

When his Platelets are low, just rubbing up against a chair can cause a bruise, as evidenced by the purple mark on Alex's cheek today, along with the over 20 other purple stains on his skin.

The visit to the doctor today, revealed that his Platelets had dropped to 25 from 50 earlier in the week. So, Alex got his second transfusion of Platelets in one week. His RBC (red blood cell count) was in the normal range, but his ANC numbers were still only 100.

I talked to the doctor about school next week, and visiting friends this weekend. He said it was really up to our discretion, and that the biggest concern is with his own body's bacteria getting out of control - and not necessarily a common cold (although, we should avoid people with fevers, or active infections). So, Eric and I are going to take it one day at a time, and hope that he is fever-free next week, so he can go back to school. He sure did miss it this week.

I think it's time for me to go back on Prozac...